Controllables

By On

I firmly believe that we can only be at peace when we feel that we have a sense of control of our lives. Our happiness depends on this peace of mind.

One of the reasons that material possessions make people happy is because they are things.

Things don't question you. They aren't difficult to deal with. They are constant, and we know for a fact that operating them a certain way will make them act a certain way. They are predictable. This gives us control, and that makes for better peace of mind.

But material wealth is just one aspect of a happy life. Another aspect that isn't so easy but is necessary for a happy life is relationships. That's what we, as humans, struggle a lot with.

The reason is we don't have that sense of control. And striving to feel that is frustrating and futile.

No matter what we do, we cannot control how a person would react. We cannot force a person into how they should act and feel. Trying to do that will only make for an unhappy and toxic relationship, and there are many testimonials to back that.

The fact is people are not controllable. And trying to perceive them like that makes everyone unhappy.

So, the question is, what makes for happy relationships?

The answer to that is to control the controllables. This brings up another question: what are the controllables in a relationship?

And the answer is self. We cannot control other people, but we can definitely control our own actions and the way we react in the difficult moments that arise.

Focusing on doing just that, and basing our sense of control on that, gives us peace. The peace that comes with knowing that we're doing the best we can, selfishly and with no expectations, just because that is who we are.

Every situation in life has controllables. And we have to identify and control that as much as we can. That is all we need to worry about.

(Originally written on 20 Apr 2022)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How I got my running habit to stick? (Productivity hack included)

By On
Image
I am a regular runner, and running is a major anchor in my life. I run every day, and I try to do it in the mornings, but I get it done in the evening if that’s not possible. I don’t miss my runs without a proper reason. But this wasn’t always the case.  I had started running in 2017, but I just couldn’t get myself to stay consistent. Last year, I started using an application called Nike Run Club, and its guided runs shifted my perspective—not just about running, but about performance in anything we do in life. So, “What was that shift?” you might ask. Well, let me present this idea to you. There are two terms that are really important to understand here, and even though we know them, we have different ways of looking at them. The two terms are efficiency and sustainability.   Let’s look at their definitions once. Efficiency is defined as “the quality of doing something well with no waste of time or money,” and sustainability is defined as “the ability to continue or be contin...
Read more

How does a more aware consumer affect the marketing approach?

By On
Look at any product around you right now and ask yourself a question: “Why do I have it?” You’d either have an answer or you wouldn’t, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you have it, and you bought it because you thought you needed it. Now, whether that need is valid or not is a different thing and depends on the individual. But the fact that some brand was able to make you realise that need or induce that in you is a success in marketing. We live in a world where all our necessities are met, and for the first time in the history of any species, we’re probably the ones who face a problem because there is an excess of food to eat and things to have.  We know that we probably don’t need most of the things we possess, and that’s why minimalism is picking up so much because we’ve become smarter at telling the difference between essential needs and acquired needs. So the question I want to ask is, What does it mean for marketers? I believe this brings forth challenges to mark...
Read more

Marketing gets a bad rep and it's not okay!

By On
I was recently having a conversation with someone who is a really skilled doctor and has been in the industry for quite some time. He doesn't have any online presence for his practice because he is one of those people who is very cynical about persuasion and influence. Consequently, he considers marketing an unethical practice. He had his own reasons and rightly so. Our conversation ranged from the importance of online presence to competency versus marketing. This didn't make much sense to me because I see them as the same thing. But then I thought about it. It's a fact that there are still so many SMEs and local businesses out there who have these negative perceptions of marketing that it's not ethical, not effective, an unnecessary expense and so much more. And there are reasons for that. Not just one, but I believe there are many factors that come into play here. Now, some people are cynical, and that's their personality. No matter how much we try, we can't h...
Read more